BRITAIN'S youngest real-life superheroes have joined forces to fight street crime.

Accountant-man

"Masked crusaders Night Warrior and The Man In Black, both 18, teamed up like Batman and Robin.
They have already hunted down a suspected drugs gang and tipped off cops about their den in North London.

Hat-wearing The Man In Black said he has been in a few scrapes tackling crime - and was cut on the hand by one thug. But he only uses an UMBRELLA for protection.
He revealed his identity as unemployed Joseph Falica, of Harrow, who started patrols two years ago. He said: "I'm willing to risk my life."

Spandex-clad Night Warrior, who has joined him on patrol in London, is from Salford, Gtr Manchester. He said: "I'm saving up for a bullet-proof vest."
Last week The Sun told of at least 16 other real-life superheroes on Britain's streets."

Sweet freakin' Jesus, MORE OF THEM?! And how young are they? 18? My word, when I was your guys age I was out having, what's it called.. FUN I was worrying about whether or not I would have enough beer for the weekend, or whether or not my dad would me borrow the car for the night. You guys are patrolling? with FUCKING UMBRELLAS AS YOUR DEFENSIVE WEAPONS! Excuse my french, but are you ILL?!

Weasel, side kick of accountant man

I won't even mention how lame these guys both look, no originality in either of them, one just looks like he's going to work at an office, and the other looks like a rejected 90's marvel superhero. Accountant man over there even revealed his secret identity, who wants to place bets on whether or not those gang-bangers they helped put away find him. I don't know if I feel more insulted that you guys are considered Heroes, or that the UK SUN compared you to Batman and Robin...

I mean are you joking?! UMBRELLAS?! I can't get over that, these thugs have GUNS and KNIVES, you're about to fend off, not only my henchmen, which are heavy armed and trained to stave off Umbrella attacks, but also Drug dealers who are probably just as heavily armed.

Do yourselves a favor, QUIT  while you're ahead, as much as I'd love to read more about you in the papers, I have a what you naive heroes call a heart, and I'd hate to see two 18 year olds gunned down because people like Pheonix Jones and the rest of the RLSH make it look "Fun"

PS: Kudos to Jebediah, as much as I'm against the whole posting of patrol logs, You really made a difference that day, complimentary fruit and small explosives basket is on its way.